Saturday, March 10, 2012

Next time I think I'll stay home...

I have been reading a book about etiquette. I had just read about the protocol at social gatherings. So, when were invited to a party of "important people" I thought I was all ready.
Truthfully, I am as crazy about wealthy, well-educated people as I am my banana lady. I just tend to fit in better with the latter. I thought maybe learning what I can would prove beneficial for those times I engage in that end of the spectrum.

When we pulled up to the house, I was floored by its grandeur. It boasted huge, wide marble porches off each of the floors. Not too many people in Guinea live in houses like these.
I reminded my children that they were to be little ladies and gentleman. It was a privilege to be invited to a grownup party and we wanted to be a blessing, I instructed them.

They did great!
They spent most of their time in the kitchen talking to and helping the African ladies who served pass out desserts and drinks. By the time one of the guests pulled me aside to tell me how well behaved my children were, I was oozing with pride.
You can see this coming, can't you?

The guests mingled in the large open living area with high ceilings and tall, wide windows all around. I'd just finished an incredibly interesting conversation with a Harvard alumnus about teaching logic to children. I moved on to a chair facing a large window overlooking the back yard and sat down to chat with two world travelers.They sat opposite me with their backs to the window. As we spoke, I commented that I hadn't seen my son for several minutes. "He's probably just cleaning up the game he was playing," I said. (Cue the angelic music.)
The words had hardly left my mouth when a small figure passed the window behind my seated companions.
Little Aggie, in his adorable A&M jersey....and only his A&M jersey, was passing by naked from the waist down. He carried poop-covered shorts and underwear and his legs were covered in excrement.

The realization of what I was seeing, coincided with Little Aggie's realization of being seen.
"Mom!!!!!" He yelled and approached the window. "Mom!! I pooped!!"

I jumped up and hurried around the back of the house desperately trying to get him out of the line of sight. I did my best to clean him up and seeing there was no hope, sent Curly Girl to quietly whisper to my Man that it was time to go.

I've read enough of my book to feel quite certain I violated some rule of etiquette by leaving so abruptly...but then again, maybe its permissible.
I don't know...I haven't made it to the section yet labeled "Pomp and Poop."


  1. Oh man, sounds like we just missed the action! Too funny! (is it funny yet?)

  2. OMG! You poor dear! I feel like Lil Aggie was very polite about the whole ordeal. And just by the way, you fit in EVERYWHERE!